Is my imagination running away
Or is all this really happening to me?
Am I a prince in a far away land filled with fantasy?

Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding onto the visions I've seen of what I could be
It's what I should be

Chorus:
More than it seems these dreams inside
Blur reality's line
If I could believe the dreams aside
I am capable more than it seems

Passing through darkness into my own world
Will I be more than when I left?
Never letting go of the lessons I learned
This will make a change
A change within me

This time I won't run away
I found the strength to face life's long days
This time I won't run away

'Til there's nothing left of me
Show me the way to these dreams...

Today was a bitter, cold day. Rain lashed at my windows throughout the day, and the sound of the wind chilled me to my bones. And that, it seemed, was fitting to the events throughout the day.

Myself, sheltering from the beastly surroundings in little alcoves of warmth throughout the city as I browsed through the shops with my cousin. The outside world going on with or without my presence. The unfortunate circumstances that befell, akin to the rain that was washing the cold, shivering violinist across the street. Glancing at her, I could not hear the sweet melody of the violin, nor could I make out the expression on her face.

It was an easy day to keep to oneself, and get immersed in personal circumstance and happenstance.

And at night, I ventured out once more to the silent cloudy night. At my usual vantage point in my corner of the garden, I saw the lights of the city below, and pinpoints of starlight from behind the clouds. And after a while, I lay my head to the ground and stared at the sky.

The wind chilled my body, though I had wrapped myself warmly. Although I count myself as hardy when it comes to resisting the elements, today I thought of admitting defeat. But in the midst of the cold, I let my mind rest and wander as I do when I try to find peace.



I thought of a lonely man, by the campfire. All alone, with wind all around him, he tries to chase away the clouds of the night with the warmth and light of the campfire. The fire glows brightly at first, but eventually dies off. The man curses the wind, for it has taken away his only pillar to lean on throughout the dark, cold night.

And then... he realises that the wind has blown away the clouds, revealing the starry sky. Starlight lights the paths around him in the way his fire did not. More mysterious and far reaching, the soft starlight was a welcome change from the harsh light of the fire. Slowly but surely, the wind dies down to leave the remainder of the night calm and beautiful.

So too must we weather the harsh elements in our lives. Clinging on to that which we believe will get us through our struggles, sometimes God needs to open our eyes to the other things in life which are important, and can be depended on as well. The biting cold wind of suffering and sorrow have a way of revealing the starry sky behind the clouds.



And with that, I went inside. God reveals Himself in beautiful ways to us all.

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

To be happy, do not add to your possessions but subtract from your desires.

Things to add to my list of watchphrases to live by:

1. Hope, not expectations.
2. "I would not take it if I were to find it on the highway."

It's bizarre. It's 12.13 am on the morning after my last exam, and I'm not sleeping.

I'm sleepy, but I'm not sleeping. That's silly, isn't it? Yes, it is.

My excuse being... I'm putting perfecting touches to the video I just put together. I'm one of those people who will watch and rewatch the video that they've made to find out it's not adequate, and it has to be changed.

And changed, and changed, and changed. This is my fourth edition of the video that's being processed. And I have this sneaking feeling it's not going to be the last.

I don't have expectations. I have hopes, nothing more. Nothing more. But hope keeps me going.

Mr D, incidence rate is extremely high. Let's put extra emphasis, shall we? Incidence rate is extremely high. And unfortunately, it's quite long term. If you know what I mean. Hope hope. Although I'm not supposed to hope! *slapslap*

Gah gah. I'm talking rubbish again.

Back to work. =)

Why won't I just learn?
Why do I keep making things hard... for myself and for others?
I say I don't mean to... but I should know better.

It's being selfish, I guess. Something I'm very good at.
Perhaps it would have been better if you didn't forgive me...
Then I would realise how awful I've been.

How awful I've always been.
Lord, forgive me. But You will, won't you?
It is I that cannot forgive myself.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.